Forget casual sex – millennials want to date but don’t know how to have healthy relationships: report

Dating and hanging out with friends is top of mind for millennials, but difficult to do because they struggle with cultivating lasting and healthy romantic relationships, a new Harvard report says.

What they’re not up for, however, is casual sex.

According to researchers, teens and adults tend to “greatly overestimate” the hook-up culture of millennials, which fuels misconceptions that can be harmful to young people.

HangZhou Night Net

READ MORE: Should people stay friends with their exes after a breakup?

“We hope that this report is a real wake-up call,” Dr. Richard Weissbourd, lead author of the study, said in a statement. “While adults, and parents in particular, wring their hands about the ‘hook-up culture,’ research indicated that far fewer young people are hooking up than is commonly believed.”

The study surveyed over 3,000 young adults between the ages of 18 and 25 in the U.S., as well as looked at several years of research by Weissbourd and his team. They also talked with adults who are key to the demographic, like parents, teachers, sport coaches and counsellors.

From their research, the team found that when people overestimate the hook-up culture of millennials, it can make them feel embarrassed or ashamed, and puts pressure on them to have sex when they’re not interested or ready.

As well, 70 per cent of respondents said they wished they had been given more information from their parents about the emotional aspects of romantic relationships.

“This focus on the hook-up culture also obscures two much bigger issues that our research suggests many young people are struggling with: forming and maintaining healthy and fulfilling romantic relationships and dealing with widespread misogyny and sexual harassment,” Weissbourd said. “Unfortunately, we also found that most adults appear to be doing very little to address these serious problems.”

In fact, 87 per cent of women who took part in the study said they’d experienced some form of sexual harassment during their lifetime, yet 76 per cent of said they’d never spoken to their parents about how to avoid sexually harassing others.

“[Adults] don’t say anything, even when sexual harassment is right in their midst,” Weissbourd told ABC News. “And many tell us… they don’t say anything because they don’t know what to say. And they fear that they won’t be effective, or they fear they will be written off.”

READ MORE: How to start dating again after ending a long-term relationship

This could be because many millennials don’t feel gender-based degradation is a problem in today’s society.

Digging deeper, researchers found that 48 per cent of young people believe that society has reached a point where double standards against women no longer exist.

Parents are also neglecting to discuss the issue of sexual assault.

Of the respondents, 61 per cent of say they’ve never talked about “being sure your partner wants to have sex and is comfortable doing so before having sex,” the report states. They’ve also never discussed assuring their own comfort before engaging in sex (49 per cent), the importance of not pressuring others into having sex (56 per cent), the importance not continuing that pressure to have sex despite the other person saying ‘no’ (62 per cent), or the importance of not having sex with someone who is too intoxicated or impaired to properly consent (57 per cent).

And those who did have those conversations with their parents say they were “at least somewhat influential.”

To address these issues, researchers offered up several tips for parents.

    Talk about love and help teens understand the differences between mature love and other form of attractionShow young people how to identify healthy and unhealthy relationshipsHelp young people identify misogyny and harassmentIf parents and educators see unhealthy relationship behaviours (like hearing degrading words, for example), they should interveneTalk about what it means to be ethical by helping them develop the skills to maintain healthy romantic relationships and treat those who are different from them with dignity and respect

For more tips, click here.

Follow @danidmedia

Mr. Biggles, ‘utter bastard of a cat,’ up for adoption in Melbourne

A cat adoption agency in Melbourne had some fun with the cat bio for one of their latest wards, Mr. Biggles, describing him in a hilariously honest manner.

“Mr. Biggles (also known as Lord Bigglesworth) is an utter, utter, utter bastard,” it begins.

HangZhou Night Net

According to Gina Brett, the author of the description and a volunteer with the rescue group Cat People of Melbourne, the feline is quite feisty.

READ MORE:
Maine Coon in Australia may be world’s longest cat

“Mr. Biggles is a despot and a dictator. He will let you know he is not happy, which is often, because things are often just not up to his high standards,” his bio reads.

The dark humour and straightforward description has seemed to charm several cat lovers.

“This is by far the best description of a cat I have ever read! So raw and honest, I love it!” wrote Facebook user Joanne Keith.

People from around the world have since expressed their admiration of Mr. Biggles.

The rescue group has even launched a blog for the kitty, where they promise he will be updating with articles on “how to play with a dog and not kill it” and “getting what you want from human slaves.”

Although Cat People of Melbourne is accepting applications for people who want to be Mr. Biggles’ “human slave,” no suitable candidate has been found yet.

“Mr. Biggles is not a cat for the inexperienced or faint-hearted. He is a full-blooded tomcat with very firm boundaries,” Brett said. “Mr. Biggles needs an owner that won’t take his nipping personally but won’t let him get away with bad behaviour, either.”

Follow @jennynotjen

‘Big Brother Canada’ finale: Season 5 winner crowned

SPOILER ALERT: Do not read on unless you’ve watched the Big Brother Canada Season 5 finale.

Big Brother Canada (BBCAN) crowned Kevin Martin as the Season 5 winner during Thursday night’s finale on Global.

Kevin Martin, a 24-year-old professional poker player and content creator from Calgary, Alberta, beat out 16 houseguests to be named champion.

WATCH BELOW: Big Brother Canada: Kevin raises the stakes in Season 5 return

HangZhou Night Net

READ MORE: ‘Big Brother Canada’ host Arisa Cox analyzes returning ‘BBCAN’ vets

The contest came down to fellow finalist Karen Singbeil, 53, and Kevin, who received a second chance at playing the game after appearing in Season 3.

Kevin and Karen both fielded questions from the jury about why they deserved to win the $100,000 grand prize, a $30,000 home furnishing makeover from The Brick and a new 2017 Toyota 76.

Kevin received all nine of the jury votes to secure his victory.

Demetres Giannitsos had previously won the first round of the final head of household competition but Kevin won the second and third rounds and sent Demetres to jury, choosing to take Karen to the final two with him.

“This time I want to get to know people deeper on a personal level,” Kevin said before entering the competition for a second time.

READ MORE: ‘Big Brother Canada’ Season 5: Final group of houseguests revealed

Kevin was one of the first houseguests to be evicted as a result of a triple eviction in Season 3 and he’s also the first houseguest in BBCAN history to be kicked out of the house without receiving any eviction votes against him.

By the end of this season, Kevin felt like he was completely alone in the house and announced that many times to the BBCAN cameras.

In one of his final pleas to the jury members, Kevin said, “Since you all have left, I’ve been by myself in this game. The only reason I am here is because I won the power of veto during the triple eviction. I am alone, isolated and targeted.”

This season, Kevin won head of household twice, the power of veto four times and was put on the block three times.

Before entering the BBCAN house, Kevin was asked, “What element of Big Brother Canada did you not have a chance to try before, that you’d like to experience this time around?”

Kevin’s answer was simple: “The end of the game!”

He continued: “I went home ninth out from the end. The game changes so drastically in those final weeks, the decisions get so much more intense. I want to stick around all the way through to the end.”

Some fans of BBCAN were ecstatic about Kevin’s win.

Others wished that the finale had played out differently.

Were you surprised that Kevin won Big Brother Canada 5?

Take Our PollFollow @KatieScottNews

Calgary police adopt committee to review sexual assault cases dismissed as unfounded

Calgary police are taking steps to review sexual assault cases that investigators dismiss as unfounded — meaning they have evidence to suggest the offence didn’t occur.

A Case Review Committee is being formed to “take a second look” at cases the Calgary Police Service (CPS) dismiss as unfounded. The approach was first adopted in Philadelphia 17 years ago.

CPS investigators will meet with the independent members of the committee three times a year, according to a release, to review all new cases of reported sexual assault that have been deemed unfounded.

The committee members will be able to look over all details of the cases, except identities and private information about those involved.

WATCH: Wed, May 3: CPS Staff Sergeant Melanie Oncescu from the Child Abuse Unit, believes the confidence and stigma of reporting sexual assaults are being reduces

HangZhou Night Net

Committee members include Alberta’s Minister of Status of Women, as well as representatives from the Sheldon Kennedy Child Advocacy Centre and Communities against Sexual Abuse (CCASA).

“We know that sexual violence is a gendered crime. The vast majority of survivors of sexual violence are women, and I hope this helps them feel safe to come forward to tell their story,” status of women minister Stephanie MacLean said in a release.

“I want every survivor to know we believe them, and they deserve to be treated fairly and with respect.”

Sarah MacDonald, a forensic psychologist with the Sheldon Kennedy Child Advocacy Centre, said she was looking forward to examining and providing insight on how police conduct their investigations into sexual assault reports.

“As a forensic psychologist on the committee, I am excited to provide scientific-based knowledge on memory and forensic interviewing best practices that can be incorporated into the sexual offence strategies,” she said.

Calgary police dismiss about 10 per cent of cases as unfounded

Calgary police said the initiative was undertaken as a result of a Globe and Mail investigation, which revealed police in Canada dismiss one of every five reported sexual assaults as unfounded.

At the time, CPS said, Calgary police dismissed about 10 per cent of sexual assault cases, 62 per year, as unfounded. The national average, according to the Globe and Mail, is 19 per cent.

Studies show the unfounded reporting rate for sexual assaults is between two and eight per cent.

“Calgary’s unfounded rate was lower than average, both nationally and provincially,” Staff Sergeant Bruce Walker said in a release.

“But there are still other police agencies that are doing better than us. We felt it was important to learn from their successes and see what we can do even better here.”

CPS said sexual assaults should only be dismissed as unfounded if investigators have determined the assault didn’t happen or wasn’t attempted, and that no other other offence happened at the reported time and place.

“At CCASA we know that the rate of unfounded cases has needed to be addressed across the country for a long time, and we are very hopeful that this committee will be able to effectively address it in our city,” CCASA CEO Danielle Aubry said in a release.

“We are pleased that the Calgary Police Service has taken a leadership role in recognizing the importance of this issue and is willing to open up their processes to a committee of external community partners.”

Comparatively, Edmonton’s unfounded rate is 10 per cent, Toronto rate is at seven per cent, Ottawa 28 per cent and Halifax 13 per cent.

La Loche school shooting: teen told police he had regrets about the shooting

A teen gunman who killed four people at a home and in a school in northern Saskatchewan told police he had regrets about the shooting.

Dayne and Drayden Fontaine were killed at their house in La Loche in January 2016 before the shooter went to the high school, where he killed a teacher and a teacher’s aide.

HangZhou Night Net

Related

  • La Loche shooter could face significantly different sentences

  • The untold stories of the La Loche, Sask. school shooting

  • La Loche school shooting victim wants adult sentence for teen who killed 4, wounded 7

    READ MORE: Students had a look of ‘horror on their faces’: La Loche shooting victim

    The teen was asked in a videotaped police interview, which was played at his sentencing hearing Thursday, how he felt when he thought about killing the two brothers.

    “I didn’t plan to shoot them, man. I already told you. They weren’t part of the plan,” he said, crying, in the video.

    The officer asked him what the plan was.

    “Go to the school and shoot the f—;ing kids,” said the teen.

    The teen was also asked what he would say to Dayne and Drayden now.

    “Tell them that I’m sorry, man.”

    The teen has pleaded guilty to two counts of first-degree murder, two counts of second-degree murder and seven counts of attempted murder.

    The sentencing hearing is to determine if the teen, who can’t be named because he was just shy of his 18th birthday at the time, should be sentenced as a youth or an adult.

    Court has heard that Dayne Fontaine was shot 11 times, twice in the head, and Drayden was shot twice, including in the back of the head.

    The boys’ mother, Alicia Fontaine, told court in Meadow Lake, Sask., that the teen gunman called her two days after the shooting to apologize.

    “I may be angry, but I’m not angry at him,” Fontaine said.

    “I talked to him. He was crying. I forgave him. You can forgive, but you’ll never forget.”

    If it were up to her, Fontaine said, she would not press charges in the deaths of her sons.

    “It is true, my whole world is gone, but I know my babies are in a place where there is no pain,” she said.

    “I have forgiven you.”

    READ MORE: ‘Don’t shoot me’: sentencing hearing underway in La Loche shooting

    The shooter’s mother said the family has also forgiven her son for “this horrible crime.”

    “I was in shock like everyone else,” she told court. “I never knew this was going to happen.”

    The teen’s mother said she feels guilty, although she knows the shooting wasn’t her fault.

    “I am not a bad mother or person. If I knew and seen the signs that he was struggling in life, I could have stopped all of this from happening,” she said.

    “Sometimes, as parents, we are unaware of the struggles that our children have.”

    Video surveillance from the school shows the teen walking and running through hallways firing a shotgun. Teacher Adam Wood and teacher’s aide Marie Janvier were killed and seven others were hurt.

    In the police interview, the teen is asked who he was targeting when he went into the school.

    “Nobody,” he replied.

    FULL COVERAGE: La Loche school shooting

    The officer asked the teen who he was looking for when he was trying to open doors.

    “Teachers and students,” he said.

    The defence has said there is no simple reason behind the shooting and little about the motive has been made clear so far.

    Earlier in the interview, the shooter said he never felt bullied. The officer also asked the teen if he felt the school had “wronged” him.

    “Not really,” he said. “I don’t think so, no.”